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Monday, November 16, 2015

A Special Note To My Readers from Balurghat

I know extremely well that there are SEVERAL people from this town who do check the blog.It is impossible to figure out this statistically.And I can't do that but from behavioural approach,from acquaintances,I know there are people who do.And people who wouldn't disclose that they do.Sighs.
I cannot have empirical proof since I do not think even paid analysis gives you the details of towns (and such a small one as ours) reading the blog.It has not even been a month that I started checking the details of my audience on the blog and it is very interesting to observe this.I will share a fact or two here.Most of my readers belong to the age group of 18-24 year olds.Not that people who are above 65 years old do not read the blog : The Perspectives covers all the age groups but this is where it is maximum.
A little sadly,men read the blog more than women do.The difference is not too huge but this fact has not yet been altered. And then,there are more than 60 (<sixty???!!!) languages in which the blog is read in......137 countries.I do not think I can even memorise that list in a go.
But there is only 1 single label in the Geo section showing (not set).
Blogger,Gmail and Analytics have always working perfectly for me but something tells me this is my creepy,sweet readers.Right from my hometown and my assumptions only get strengthened by the notion that the sessions are regular.
Also,most of the subscribers do not subscribe via mail,so it is only through Feedburner that I can actually check the number of subscribers and unfortunately,not know their names.

It is actually a little awkward that many people in my school know about the blog.I am never as free to talk to anyone,in general and I am like,super frank about everything here.Academic and educational part is apt for everyone but I often combine that with my personal thoughts and experiences.Not that I apologise for doing any of that but since I do not get along well with many,many of them; I have heard people saying,"Oh my! She blogs.We upload our photos everyday in hot outfits.But we never blog." Sighs again. Well,Yes,I DO. And I do not need advice about what I think is for a cause. This is not a place where I pose in different attire and try to sell myself,thinking I am somewhat of a commodity.In fact even if the entire world runs on the mainstream culture of domination,incited by the "developed" countries,a lot of us will still refuse to accept ourselves as commodities.
I am not very active in personal networking sites,either.Blogging is a part of my CAREER,I think I have mentioned this before.

I have had encouragement about this from several people worldwide but I do not disclose the blogger me much in public.I often feel to,especially when I know that the summarisations of all the English poems in our syllabus has first page Google visibility from the blog.But I still control that urge and the urge to speak up about the fact that a lot of them are half-illiterate,if not even more,but I do not do that,either.I skip a lot of wrongs I could have easily had hundreds of people reading about. Not that I eliminate chances of writing them down in future but currently,I control a lot of my urges.Because I do not want to misuse this portal I have created with so much patience and passion.
I also love to spread the word when artists,authors or leaders follow the blog but I do not do that,either because I like to keep this me very fresh,very rebellious and introverted from personal connections.That way,it makes things more justified.The 'virtual' world has no idiotic boundaries set up by human beings "that teach you to have pride for things you've never done and hate people you've never met." I do not put up restrictions as to who can read the blog and who cannot.I live within The Perspectives and The Perspectives lives in me.The feeling is almost that of giving birth to something,so,yes,I am deeply emotional about all that has come till now.

(Photograph Source : I am not sure.From a friend's profile.)

I do not like encouraging a lot of funny gossips,nobody likes that,actually.And I have heard people say,"Wasn't that post about your crush?","Wasn't your crush BDM?" No dear,he wasn't my "crush".He isn't my crush.I have never had crushes on people,to be honest.I liked to talk to him and I will still like to talk to him,anyway.And I think what was done at that time was not right because the time it was done at was not the right time.I had my exams.I was freakish,I was scared,I was helpless.And he just stood there,not giving it a single thought,a single HUMANE thought as to how it might effect an adolescent girl who was going to sit for the biggest exams in her life till then. I expected him to realise this and I looked for ways to make him understand that this was wrong,just that is it.And I am not reluctant to admit this.I am not nervous.My fingers don't shake when I write this and nor will my voice when I speak about this. He had been a nice person to me once upon a time and I would love to hold on to that view because that is what me says to myself.And I did not mean I wanted to be in some sort of a relationship or something like that.I suffered for months only searching for ways to substitute the vacuum created but things don't get substituted in this universe,it is just us who forget.Who have to forget. There is no coming over,either.We talked about the sky,the earth and unequal distribution of capital.I would be glad if people believe that because that's what it is.He opened up my thoughts and not many people around me are able to do that.I liked his company,which was a message or two,in around 4 sentences at the end of the day.I see no sin and salvation because atheists do not,in general.And I would just like to hold on to this and not try to erase it from my brain because my brain is not a RAM,it is my brain.
And I have a psychology,too,because I have a brain.So,if I broke down somewhere toasted amidst so much tension,fear and mental pain,then I do not curse myself.I know how to give myself some space,from myself sometimes,if necessary.Now,if this seems like some juicy stuff you would love to get some free utility from,I don't mind.You're wasting your precious time and you could have used it for a better purpose because time too,has alternative uses like material commodities.

The blog is not about him and has never been.There are two posts I have written in the past which directly links to him and an acquaintance of his,ironically,whom I know well in my real life,too.The post on heartache and depression is more on pragmatic management on psychology.Not solely on him.
It is not about me at all,it is about things beyond me and my momentary escape from me,not flowing in the fantasy this age tries to explain you.It is a way to many portals,new doors,new places,new flavours.It is about letting people know.Know the truth.I have the guts to write publicly against Mujaheddin or ISIS.About Osama bin Laden and Barack Obama.About Robin Cook and Julian Assange and Bradley Manning.This is not easy.NOT EASY.Because this involves risks now,especially when the blog is read by some 5000+ people directly engaged on the blog every month  and even more on the social media outlets. I have written thrice about Islamic fundamentalism in PUBLIC. Twice about US state secrets and more about Zionists and other kinds of terrorists.Not that I do not know the possible risks and the subsequent possible effects.I do.I am not a Barbie lover dressed in pink who likes sugared cupcakes and pink dresses.This blog is not on my adrenaline gland and its functions in every year,I hope this post makes this clear.

I figured out,also that a photograph of the town on my Google+,without tags,got several Plus Ones,and so from people from the town,which sort of makes me think that I do have reach in this place.I do not post about the blog on local forums or even talk about it to people I really love and respect from the heart. May be I will let them know someday,for now,it is just me,the medium and the world. I would never have had the guts to say A CLEAR NO to both the medical and engineering streams unless I knew people were actually listening to my words.That acclaimed people were following me even before I had followed them.This is a source of confidence,too.But nothing easy.Never easy.It takes aching shoulders and a dizzy head working hard day and night to keep both my academics and the blog work properly. 

I would love people to read what I write,no matter from where they are.But it is a request to you.DO NOT SPREAD UGLY GOSSIPS.This does not have much negative impacts on me,it has negative impacts on you.People get to see the real character in you.They enjoy your drama,they never respect the person you are.I did not like it at all to write like that about what I believe is a soft,protected secrecy in my life.I had to write it like THAT today.But I would have had to find a way to stop this,anyhow. I respect people on the basis of who they are,not based on their age.So,if that makes me villainish,that is what I am but I mean it that I won't change my mind.If this makes me adamant,then that is what I am.

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